Tell, Don’t Ask
“Ask, don’t tell” is an oft-used mantra in coaching and leading people.
Which might have us asking, is there ever a place for “Tell, don’t ask”?
Short answer is yes.
“Tell, don’t ask” is a necessary mantra to use when we are coaching and leading ourselves.
Permission is a stumbling block for many of us when we’re making change happen.
Our inner dialogue might be something like:
“Who am I to [fill in the blank]?”
“Am I allowed to do [this thing]?”
Worse, others may say these words to you, giving courage to the inner voice of doubt and second-guessing.
It’s not surprising, given the way authority and rules work in many parts of our lives. The 10 year old us who probably had to ask a teacher to go to the toilet, can hold on to the belief that there is always someone else to give permission.
Except, we have all the permission to change, lead and show up as we believe is best for us. It may take many times of telling ourselves that “I am doing [fill in the blank]” and “I am allowed to do [this thing]” before we act as if we believe it.
Like anything, though, practice makes perfect.
Where might you grant yourself some permission today?