Saying No

No is a complete sentence.

This quote from author Anne Lamott is one of my all-time favourites.

In my “if I had a dollar” series, I’d add the almost weekly question I get from people about how to say no.

Not surprising, as we humans can often find saying no to be difficult, both at work and elsewhere in our lives. Also, not surprising that this can be the topic for an entire coaching conversation. We are often provided with (unhelpful) advice to “just say no”. The when, how, and why we might say no is contextual and nuanced and in weighing up all the factors, it can become too much. We end up augmenting our no with a whole host of justifying statements. Or, we simply say yes instead.

There are lots of reasons for this, of course, and it often raises its head at work where we might not believe we have the power, we may have built an expectation of always being agreeable, and perhaps we are keen to avoid a potential conflict.

There are times, however, that no is the complete sentence we need.

It’s a skill and one that we can practice. We can dip our toe in the water, start with the “safer” no and build our comfort with the word, and the complete sentence.

I’m curious, when was the last time (or the next opportunity) for you to practice saying no?

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