Arbitrary Deadlines
There are deadlines,
and … there are deadlines.
Observing my son’s preparations for an upcoming holiday, I notice him ticking things off the list, and pushing other things back a day or two. But the flight has a departure time, and he’ll need to be ready … or not.
More often though our deadlines are arbitrary, and none moreso than those we apply to our own projects.
With our new year’s plans underway, we recognise those arbitrary deadlines in our intentions to learn something new, reinvigorate a lapsed habit, and to change X, Y or Z. We give these things a deadline for the motivational boost, and when we announce that deadline we expect it will provide some necessary external accountability.
Along the journey, the unexpected happens and we stare down the barrel of an impossible deadline.
Cue the inner tension bubbling away at the intersection of our knowing and our aspirations.
“I’m so lazy/hopeless/useless/______insert your own … I can never keep a deadline”
“I could really do with a physical / mental health day but I made this commitment and I’m sticking with it”
“I would change my plans now if I hadn’t of stated them aloud”
“I need more discipline if I’m going to meet this deadline … I’m sure [insert successful person] doesn’t skip deadlines”
Unfortunately as with most things, there’s no one way, nor one solution to alleviate this inner tension. It takes practice in observation and listening (inner and outer), self-empathy and grace, and the courage to stop/start/change/experiment.
And, most of all, it helps to discern our arbitrary deadlines from the real ones.
If the flight isn’t going to leave without us, chances are it’s going to be ok.